Today I had one of those moments. What people call a moment of clarity. I reached a level of understanding.
Today, I improvised on my saxophone with a client, who played on the piano.
It was important because I have been spending so much time learning piano, and fathoming ways to use it therapeutically - deeply feeling under equipped and determined to become a master, at least to a level which I can support my clients at a music therapy level. Fragmenting my mind into harmonic structures and the complex simplicity of inversions.
And exploring my voice. Trying to smooth out the transition between my chest and head voice. Trying to put melody to words, and words to meaning. Trying to choreograph my tongue to not only sing the words meaningfully, but clearly and beautifully. Trying to disengage my heart from my words, and confidence from my dynamics, my internal ego-drive from my tone.
I had almost lost sight of my roots.
My roots in soulful melody. The clarity of pure tone sound. Raw emotion at my fingertips.
Today I had the opportunity, out of nowhere, to therapeutically use my saxophone to meet a client where they were at, in the moment and develop our musical relationship through motif's of understanding, and mirroring octaves of trust. It was a beautiful moment where in nothing in particular happened, but a lot happened, and I could read so much from the musical interaction.
It made me think about stories I have read about music therapists using creative music therapy techniques. I have felt under equipped, until today. I am supposed to be a music therapist, I am supposed to use my favourite tool to help people in need, and people can absolutely feel the powerful beauty of the saxophone.
Music, in all shapes, forms, waves, colours, textures, is humanities mirror. Our self regurgitation of life's perceptions and processes. It allows us to see from a distance just what is occurring in the real world. However distorted our perception may become, music can always bring us to somewhere more homely, somewhere where you can relate, somewhere to express how you really feel.
I have today to thank for so much.
If anyone ever tells you not to follow your strengths, play harder. Make a point. Stand for what you believe in and express who you really are to everyone, whether they like it or not. Because YOU are the force, and you deserve to be here to make waves that will ripple out into the future of the world.
